The Someday Trap
Many times, we convince ourselves that life will begin when something else happens.
We say to ourselves: I’ll travel when I retire; I’ll wear that when I lose weight; I’ll buy the house when I get married; I’ll get that when I earn more money.
These goals are meaningful but making our enjoyment of life depend on them can make us overlook the present and put our lives on hold. Sometimes postponing enjoyment is genuinely the responsible decision, especially when finances or other obligations are involved. But sometimes we use responsibility as a reason to keep putting ourselves last.
We tell ourselves we’ll enjoy life after reaching a particular goal. But when we reach that goal, another one often takes its place. The weight is lost, but now we’re waiting for something else. We got the better job, but now we want a higher salary. We buy the house, but there are renovations and other expenses.
What if, when we finally reach the goal we’ve been waiting for, we simply find another reason to postpone living?
How long have you been waiting for someday?
Someday feels responsible because we are postponing enjoyment for a “better” time, but what if that time never comes? Sometimes we have to make things happen, even if our circumstances suggest a better time in the future. Sometimes the time is now! Not when you lose weight, get a better job, or when you retire. Now.
- Recognize When You Are Living for Someday
If you find yourself always postponing enjoyment and the life you want for a “better” time, you are living for someday. You do not need to wait until you earn more money, get married, or lose weight. You can begin creating a fulfilling life now, within the circumstances of the life you already have. There are still things you can enjoy even if you don’t have a lot of money, a partner, or the body you hope to have someday.
Learn to create moments that bring you joy. If you can’t go on a vacation, create a staycation or go on a day trip. Explore somewhere new in your own town, visit a museum, or spend an afternoon doing something you enjoy.
If you do not have a partner, do not let it stop you from living a rich and fulfilling life. Many of the things you can enjoy with a partner, you can also enjoy alone. You can travel, go to restaurants, go to concerts, and go to the movies by yourself.
Stop waiting for someday. Make room to enjoy your life now.
- Stop Saving Everything for Special Occasions
This has been my philosophy since I was young. Once, I attended an event, and I overheard someone I knew say, “Where is she going?” I guess they felt I was overdressed for the occasion. But I believe every day you wake up is a special occasion, so put on that sequined sweater, wear those silver shoes, and wear the dress that looks like you are about to go out for a night on the town. You don’t have to wait for a special day to put on something that makes you feel special.
Saving dishes, perfume, and anything else for a special day denies you the joy you can experience now. Sometimes we buy things that we never use, waiting for that special day.
Don’t let the things you love sit unused while you wait for an occasion worthy of them. The fact that you’re here to enjoy them today is reason enough.
- Put Enjoyment on Your Calendar
We schedule everything these days. We schedule work, appointments, errands, and other responsibilities. Why don’t we schedule joy? Our joy is just as important as the other events we schedule.
We must make room in our lives to enjoy the things and people we love. Too often, we leave whatever time we have left after work and other responsibilities for joy. But instead of waiting to see if we have time left over, we must be intentional about scheduling time for enjoyment. We need to make room for concerts, museums, dinner with friends, family, hobbies, and other experiences.
Sometimes we put off joy because of financial obligations, but joy does not have to be expensive. You can go to see a movie, have a candlelit bubble bath, or simply relax and listen to music with a glass of wine. There are countless ways to create enjoyable moments without spending a fortune.
Making room for enjoyment allows us to recharge, reconnect with ourselves, and experience more of what life has to offer. Our lives should consist of more than work, appointments, and responsibilities.
Don’t wait for joy to find an opening in your schedule. Make room for it.
- Celebrate Small Milestones
Often, we celebrate major milestones: the birth of a baby, marriage, graduations, and promotions. We reserve celebrations for enormous achievements, but what about the small wins we have daily?
We should also acknowledge smaller victories. Small milestones also bring us a feeling of accomplishment. When we maintain a new habit, complete a project, make progress on a financial goal, or simply get through a demanding week, we should take time to celebrate because they matter too.
So, whether you finished something difficult, tried something new, or kept a promise to yourself, acknowledge it. Recognizing progress can make the journey more satisfying, so celebrate those small wins.
- Stop Believing You Have to Earn Joy
Sometimes we believe we cannot enjoy life until all our responsibilities are completed. But do you know our responsibilities are never finished? There is always something that needs to be done.
If we wait to enjoy life, we may never make room to experience joy.
There is a difference between being responsible and treating pleasure as a reward we can only receive after everything is done. Being responsible should not negate our ability to experience joy we deserve.
You don’t need to postpone enjoyment until you’ve checked off every task on your list. Make time for what brings you happiness, then return to your responsibilities. Taking time to enjoy yourself doesn’t mean you’re neglecting what needs to be done.
You don’t have to finish everything on your to-do list before giving yourself permission to enjoy your life.
- Give Yourself Something to Look Forward To
There is nothing like anticipating something you are looking forward to. Because I struggle with weight, during the week I have done things like eliminate sugar and carbohydrates. On the weekends, I allow myself to have one flavored coffee and one breakfast where I don’t count calories. This is so satisfying to me because it allows me the pleasure of indulging without overdoing it.
You can have enjoyable moments in everyday life without waiting for major events. Take the time to focus on creating these moments weekly: read a book, go to a movie night, plan a weekend outing, spend time with family/friends, or simply enjoy a favorite meal.
Give yourself something to look forward to each week, because life’s little pleasures deserve to be enjoyed just as much as its big moments.
- Notice What’s Good About Your Current Season
Every season has difficulties and gifts. When we have difficult seasons, we don’t need to pretend everything is wonderful. We should acknowledge where we are and recognize the good in the difficulty. There is always something to be grateful for.
Take time to recognize the people, places, and things that contribute to the life we have. Gaining appreciation for what we already have opens us up to better experiences and opportunities.
During challenging times, remember to be grateful for the good things in your life.
Ask yourself: “What exists in my life today that I may someday miss?”
- Pursue Your Goals Without Putting Your Life on Hold
You can pursue a different career path and give your best to your current job, save money and enjoy inexpensive experiences, work toward a goal and celebrate progress. Yes, you can want change while still finding meaningful experiences in your current life.
My decision to pursue creating Contentment Chronicles while going back to work, making time for travel, and other experiences is a prime example of pursuing goals while appreciating my current life. You can do this too.
You don’t have to choose between building the life you want and enjoying the life you have; there is room for both.
Your Future Is Now
Life is happening while we are working on our goals.
You do not need to stop dreaming about tomorrow.
You do not need to abandon your goal.
You do not want to become so focused on the life you are trying to create that you fail to experience the life you are already living.
Someday isn’t where your life begins: your life is happening today.
What have you been saving for someday that you could begin enjoying today?
And if you want to become more intentional about how you spend your days, I created the 30-Day Contentment Reset to help you take that journey a little deeper. It’s a guided 30-day experience designed to help you slow down, reflect, let go of what is weighing you down, practice gratitude, create healthier boundaries, and intentionally make more room for peace and contentment in your everyday life.
You don’t have to completely change your life to experience more peace. Sometimes you simply need to pause, take an honest look at what you’re carrying, and decide what you no longer want to take with you.
You are allowed to put some things down.
And when you’re ready, the 30-Day Contentment Reset can help you begin.
Cultivate Peace. Choose Contentment.
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